If you're a new Mom or Dad, perhaps you've begun to feel like you'll turn into the Grinch if you hear one more sleigh bell ringing. For new families, the holidays mean not only keeping up with all of the celebrations and holiday festivities that your family and friends want to include you in, but also the round-the-clock parenting that your new precious baby demands. As a young parent, you may be feeling pulled between what you want to do and what your body and mind tells you that you're capable of. Surviving the holidays as a new parent is a bit easier if you learn to strategize your time and efforts. Here's some tips to help you get started managing your new family for the holiday season:
Let go of the images of the perfect holiday season. Everyone envisions a picture perfect Christmas season complete with the perfect tree, all the right presents for everyone on their list, guests that are filled to the brim with holiday baked goods, and other illusions that we are exposed to through television (or maybe even our own upbringing). Even without the added tasks of nursing, diapering, burping, changing, and trying to get in a few winks of sleep for yourself, the holidays can never compete with the images we've developed of this special time of year. It's not reality.
Add a very small new word to your vocabulary - "no". It is one of the hardest words in the English language for some new parents to use, but it should become your new catchphrase. Don't feel guilty that you cannot go out with family and friends for your usual holiday parties and celebrations if you simply don't feel like going this time. New parents need time to adjust to their new family unit - especially if you are going from "you and I" to "we" as is the case with all first-time parents. Even those parents who already have children will find themselves stressed as they learn how this new little arrival can turn the entire household into an uproar! Take the time you need to make the adjustments to your new family circle - even if you have to strain out a few "no's" here and there.
Let your baby be your guide. Most babies need to have the routine and quiet that is never to be found at holiday gatherings. If your baby's temperament is such that he or she doesn't seem to care for the constant commotion of the holidays, then consider leaving an event early, or simply not attending.
Open the lines of communication with your partner. It's so important that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your holiday celebrations (or lack of) during this special time when your family is getting adjusted to a new baby. Let your partner know how you feel, and take your partner's feelings into consideration. Try to incorporate a bit of what each of you want for this holiday so that each feels satisfied.
Make a list of everything you need to do, separated into three categories - Musts, Shoulds, and Wants. In the Musts category, list everything that you absolutely must do (there is no way of getting around it); the Should category is where you list things that you feel pressured to do, but don't necessarily want to do; and the Want category is where you list the things you actually want to do. Pay close attention to the Wants category - it is important that you allow yourself to do some of the Wants for the holidays.
Decorate without added worry for baby's safety. You have enough anxiety on your plate this year, so alleviating the small worries is one way to reduce your overall level of stress. I remember coping with possibly dangerous holiday decor during my baby's early days. One year, I ended up putting the tree inside my baby's playpen, instead of her. I put all of the gifts inside there, which looked so silly, but it was a workable solution. I wasn't willing to go without my beloved tree. I needed to keep her safe. This was a way to do it and I was really glad. We only needed to do that for one year.
Shop online when possible. Shopping is one of the biggest chores of the holiday season, and new parents often don't have the time to carry out their traditional shopping routines in crowded malls and stores. Online shopping can save the new parent tons of time and unneeded headaches.
Scale down your hosting duties. If you absolutely have to play host for a family gathering, ask each family member to bring a dish, and then simply buy a honey-baked ham or turkey from the deli to complement those dishes. Some new parents even choose to host just a desert bash instead of a full meal to keep some of the tradition of the family gathering without all of the work. Choose whatever works best for you and don't forget to ask for help with cleaning up.
Nurture yourself. Schedule some time each day to relax, even if its just a few moments to read or have a quiet cup of tea. You will be better able to respond to your baby's needs if you take time to "refill" your own well. - 16955
Let go of the images of the perfect holiday season. Everyone envisions a picture perfect Christmas season complete with the perfect tree, all the right presents for everyone on their list, guests that are filled to the brim with holiday baked goods, and other illusions that we are exposed to through television (or maybe even our own upbringing). Even without the added tasks of nursing, diapering, burping, changing, and trying to get in a few winks of sleep for yourself, the holidays can never compete with the images we've developed of this special time of year. It's not reality.
Add a very small new word to your vocabulary - "no". It is one of the hardest words in the English language for some new parents to use, but it should become your new catchphrase. Don't feel guilty that you cannot go out with family and friends for your usual holiday parties and celebrations if you simply don't feel like going this time. New parents need time to adjust to their new family unit - especially if you are going from "you and I" to "we" as is the case with all first-time parents. Even those parents who already have children will find themselves stressed as they learn how this new little arrival can turn the entire household into an uproar! Take the time you need to make the adjustments to your new family circle - even if you have to strain out a few "no's" here and there.
Let your baby be your guide. Most babies need to have the routine and quiet that is never to be found at holiday gatherings. If your baby's temperament is such that he or she doesn't seem to care for the constant commotion of the holidays, then consider leaving an event early, or simply not attending.
Open the lines of communication with your partner. It's so important that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your holiday celebrations (or lack of) during this special time when your family is getting adjusted to a new baby. Let your partner know how you feel, and take your partner's feelings into consideration. Try to incorporate a bit of what each of you want for this holiday so that each feels satisfied.
Make a list of everything you need to do, separated into three categories - Musts, Shoulds, and Wants. In the Musts category, list everything that you absolutely must do (there is no way of getting around it); the Should category is where you list things that you feel pressured to do, but don't necessarily want to do; and the Want category is where you list the things you actually want to do. Pay close attention to the Wants category - it is important that you allow yourself to do some of the Wants for the holidays.
Decorate without added worry for baby's safety. You have enough anxiety on your plate this year, so alleviating the small worries is one way to reduce your overall level of stress. I remember coping with possibly dangerous holiday decor during my baby's early days. One year, I ended up putting the tree inside my baby's playpen, instead of her. I put all of the gifts inside there, which looked so silly, but it was a workable solution. I wasn't willing to go without my beloved tree. I needed to keep her safe. This was a way to do it and I was really glad. We only needed to do that for one year.
Shop online when possible. Shopping is one of the biggest chores of the holiday season, and new parents often don't have the time to carry out their traditional shopping routines in crowded malls and stores. Online shopping can save the new parent tons of time and unneeded headaches.
Scale down your hosting duties. If you absolutely have to play host for a family gathering, ask each family member to bring a dish, and then simply buy a honey-baked ham or turkey from the deli to complement those dishes. Some new parents even choose to host just a desert bash instead of a full meal to keep some of the tradition of the family gathering without all of the work. Choose whatever works best for you and don't forget to ask for help with cleaning up.
Nurture yourself. Schedule some time each day to relax, even if its just a few moments to read or have a quiet cup of tea. You will be better able to respond to your baby's needs if you take time to "refill" your own well. - 16955
About the Author:
Overwhelmed new mom? Christy Cuellar-Wentz, M.A. can help. As an internet talk radio host and mental health professional, she specializes in providing the support you need for the profound journey into motherhood. Sign up for free resources for new moms and explore a wealth of empowering information on postpartum survival strategies at the Mommy-Muse website and blog.
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